Thank you Nancy!

FRIENDS… comes with the following description to be added and passed along: “These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this text into the body of their award.”

It’s lovely to receive these things but so hard to choose who to pass them onto, I know it’s not exactly a matter of life and death but I always feel guilty about not being able to tag everyone! But in the interests of making someone else smile like I did this morning thanks to Nancy, I am passing this on to…Ellie, Stef, Elle, Lexi, Sheena, Lauren, Sarah and Cacti Don’t Cry (for whom I am unfortunately nameless!).

So, today I have done a whole lot of nothing. My parents, one of my sisters and I did go out to the cinema earlier to see Monsters vs Aliens, but the showing we wanted to go to was all booked up and they only had seats very close to the front for the one an hour later, so we gave up on that idea. I can’t sit at the front of the cinema, it makes me feel kind of travel sick. Mum doesn’t like the front either, it gives her a headache. I’m ridiculously sensitive to stuff like that. A couple of times in the past I’ve had periods of months at a time when I’ve been constantly really dizzy – not like having low blood pressure or wonky blood sugar, because I’ve had problems with those too thanks to the eating disorder, but that’s understandable. The last time it happened after switching medications seven times in six months and then being physically unwell and unable to eat properly, so I think there was some sort of vitamin deficiency or something going on in there too. The time before that it was after going on holiday to Barcelona and coming off of seroxat/paxil, so whether it was an inner ear thing from flying or the medication again I don’t know. I hate being a medical mystery though. I think I could cope with anything as long as I knew why it was happening, what to expect and/or when it would get better. Unfortunately stressful situations are usually stressful because they are outside of my control, unpredictable and difficult to see the end of, so tenacity reliant on having a few certainties doesn’t really help much!

I was impressed with my efforts at dinner. I had another play with Spudzilla, hehe. I mixed some haricot beans (my favourite), onion, courgette, carrot and mushrooms with tomato puree, cashew butter, coriander and cumin, then grated a Spudzilla offcut and mixed that with onion, tofutti soya cream cheese and more cashew butter and spice. ‘Twas good shiz 😉 kind of like a strange, curry flavoured, vegan Shepherd’s pie! I do like to experiment. I usually go overboard with herbs and spices though. Last night I made a conscious effort to avoid doing that – I made a sweet potato frittata, just using two eggs, Spudzilla, onion, salt and black pepper. It was absolutely delicious, so a good incentive to take occasional breaks from being condiment-happy!

I am having digestive issues at the moment. Well, it’s a rare day when I have no digestive issues, but it seems to have gotten to an unnecessary level again. It could be so many things. I am eating too many mushrooms (meant to limit them due to the yeast intolerance, since mushrooms are also fungi), too much peanut butter (again with the yeast), possibly too much soya (I’m still not sure how much I can cope with before it makes me ill as it has done in the past), too much garlic and red pepper (not allergic to either of those, but my digestive system is not a fan anyway) and I just discovered that my oat milk is fortified with B vitamins as well as calcium, and B vitamins usually come from yeast. I have cut out the oat milk – luckily Oatly make an organic, non fortified version which I can mix with cocoa just as well – but it’s going to take a few days to figure out if it was that (the most likely) or something else. If my IBS doesn’t…flare back down?! – I will have to cut out something else. B.A.H. Still, no use complaining, it’s my own fault. If I hadn’t abused my body for so long my mild milk allergy would probably have stayed that way, rather than getting worse until it incapacitated me and then spreading to half a dozen other foods! I will just have to hope that when I have maintained a healthy diet and weight for a couple of years the intolerances will go away again. It does happen, although I think the milk thing will probably be a problem for the rest of my life now, because I’ve had that one since I was born and it’s pretty severe now.

Anyway. I will have less boring things to write about tomorrow, because at 11am I have an appointment with another private therapist, and I have a really good feeling about this one! She sounds very down to earth and approachable on her website – the last lady was nice, but I didn’t see myself ever being able to relax around her, she was a bit formal. Wish me luck 🙂

Three things!
1. Dinner! The last time I made a similar thing I mixed the sweet potato/tofutti topping with tahini, and it was too bitter. Cashew butter worked perfectly.
2. Despite the sky being overcast today it wasn’t cold, and this has given me hope that winter is finally over. I think I will need to emigrate when I am older, me and winter have a difficult relationship!
3. My attempts at separating my thoughts from the eating disorder are going well, I didn’t forget my intentions overnight (as is far too easy…) and I’ve been challenging my thoughts about the little things all day.


5 responses to “Miscellaneous

  1. Glad you are still challenging your thoughts! Jenni is on FB BTW if you want to talk to her 🙂 Your dinner sounds delicious! I can’t even imagine how hard it must be to have so many allergies/food exclusions…have they been officially diagnosed? Have you seen a specialist to know if they might improve over time? (I know nothing about this stuff!) Ironically, my best period of real recovery was when I was 18 and had to go on a gluten free kosher diet for a while. This was a long time ago and there was nowhere NEAR as much gluten free stuff as you can get in regular supermarkets these days, but yeah…was weird that I started to do better- almost as if I had another focus for food rather than weight loss and improved a lot. Weirdness.Hope your appointment goes well tomorrow!oh, I meant to say that I was unpacking more boxes and found a card you sent me when I was IP in 2001! Crazy!and THANK YOU for the award! Made my night (and I know cacti don’t cry’s real name 😛 )

  2. Cacti Don't Cry

    Thanks for the award!! You are so sweet :)I’m loving your positives… you’re a lot better at it than I am, that’s for sure! ;)(Well Ellie… aren’t you special ;p I’m paranoid, I can’t help it!)

  3. WHEEEE~!!!!! (I'm excited, can't you tell?) I'm so happy I made you smile this morning! Why do you need to emigrate? The winters here in Canada are probably more brutal 😦 I actually want to move to the UK when I'm older. Funneh! ❤

  4. THANK YOU THANK YOU!Big smile =) I’m sorry you’ve been having digestive issues today, as if recovery isn’t hard enough you’ve got a whole slew of other health probs to balance!! Yikes! But I’m glad you discovered cashew butter was the missing piece in your dinner!

  5. My first award!! I’m so excited I can’t even take it (I’m a big dork, I know…). Thanks Katie!!I’m glad you’re still challenging yourself despite all your tricky digestive issues; I’m always amazed by your positive attitude despite all you have to deal with…you are such an inspiration!I hope therapy goes well tomorrow, I’ll be sending you good vibes 🙂

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