I was productive today. Oh yes I was. I did my best at creating a CV (discovering in the process that I have four years worth of gaps, which I will just have to explain by telling the truth. Oh well), emailed one of my previous universities to ask what should have happened about a qualification I got from them in 2007 (I have no piece of paper saying that I have a Certificate in Rehabilitation Sciences…but I did finish the year), applied for an admin job with Barnardos and worked out my financial incomings and outgoings so I can stop being an arse and get a grip on it. I haven’t paid my mum any rent for three months because I’m so overdrawn. Bad Katie! Running cars is expensive – but even with petrol, monthly insurance payments and therapy sessions factored in, I should be able to afford to pay mum and still leave the house sometimes. Goodness knows what I’ve been spending it all on. And I have three more jobs to apply for, which I have ordered by application closing date. I also read through this months Runner’s World magazine and did five miles on the exercise bike. Oh, and I made cakes – chocolate-avocado cupcakes, my favourite vegan recipe. Damn, I just can’t be stopped today!
It didn’t hurt that the weather has been absolutely gorgeous today. We’ve had the french windows open all day, and I spent quite a lot of time sitting outside, reading or online. I am always in a better mood when the sun is shining. I think actually that my mood is too affected by the weather – every single ED relapse I’ve been through has started during the autumn. This is extra annoying because it’s damn cold during the winter – if I had to relapse I could’ve at least done it during the summer 😛 Anyway, I think the next time I see my GP – next week, in fact – I will ask about getting a lightbox on prescription. I’m sure he will agree that it’s a good idea, it can’t be a coincidence that all my crises occur in the winter and early spring. Maybe the vitamin D supplements I’m taking with the calcium will help too – not only is vitamin D good for calcium absorption and therefore bone density, but a deficiency can cause depression. People often become deficient in the winter because vitamin D is manufactured by your skin in reaction to sunlight. I can hope, anyway!
Right, before I forget, I have a couple of questions for you runners out there. Before I got really ill I was in training for the London marathon, so it’s not like I’m entirely new to all of this, but I think my previous knowledge has fallen through the holes in my memory 😛
1. My knees hurt. They never used to hurt when I ran. Is there anything I can do about this?
2. I remember having this problem before but not how I dealt with it: having had panic attacks for much of my life, I have a real problem stopping myself from hyperventilating when I run. You know how when you start eating ‘normally’ again after a period of restriction you can’t tell when you are hungry or full? I think it’s kind of like that – I can’t tell how much I need to breathe. I’m serious! Any tips on how to sort my breathing out would be much appreciated. After I finish running my breathing and heart rate are back to normal within minutes, so I don’t think I’m going too quickly, I just have trouble resisting the urge to hyperventilate.
This is such a disjointed post! I think I’m still pretty buoyed up by my realisations yesterday too 🙂 I will finish with photos.
My cakes! I originally got the recipe for chocolate-avocado cupcakes from VeggieGirl, but I’ve adapted it a…lot 😛 I just can’t leave recipes alone! I think it’s so I always have an excuse for baking – I need to work on perfecting my recipes!
This is my favourite photo of Rufus – he was trying to get his toy goose! Awww
Three good things about today:
1. Ellie has the internet again after moving house and Aisha is back from holiday! I missed them both, they are two of my favourite bloggers 🙂
2. The weather – it’s rare that I am actually content to stay home but it was so beautiful I didn’t want to get stuck in traffic, I just wanted to sit in the sun.
3. Cake. Oh come on, cake is always a good thing! And I really needed to use up that avocado.
4. Productivity! Long may it continue.
OK, so it was a trilogy of four today!