I have had a stressful week this week. Not because of anything emotional for a change, but because of my open university course. I finished an assignment last week and now I have another one to do. I know I’ve covered similar material in the past, understood it and been able to use it perfectly, but at the moment it’s like the information is going in my eyes and out of my ears. I read a couple of pages, understand it, try to do the questions at the end of the section and I’ve forgotten it all already. Once I look at the answers at the back of the book it makes perfect sense, I want to smack myself for being so daft, but if I try the questions again later I will have forgotten again! I just got to the end of the textbook on electromagnetism and tomorrow I start special relativity. Holy crap. NONE of what I read is going in, so trying to understand Einstein’s theories is going to be torturous! My coursework isn’t so bad because I have my textbooks to work from, but the exam in June is going to be difficult if this doesn’t improve. I can only think that’s it’s a residual effect of the anorexia, because I wasn’t having these problems up until the end of 2008. Epic fail, eating disorder. At the moment my favourite theory is that it’s hormonal – do you guys ever feel like PMS knocks 20 IQ points off of you? When I have PMS I forget what I’m doing, forget the end of sentences, get words mixed up, can’t park my car (or should that be cark my par?) to save my life (yeah, yeah, I’m a cliche!). I’ve had my periods back since last July and currently feel as if I have permanent PMS, like I’m going through puberty for the second time at age 25. I’ve been at a decent weight since September, and apparently it can take about two years for hormones to get back to normal after getting to a healthy weight. Based on this, I should prepare to be stupid until sometime during winter 2011. ARGH.

Given my frustration and the fact that I have spent literally all week in my room, alternating between studying and internetting, I decided to give myself the day off. I went into town this morning, four hours before therapy, to do some shopping. I don’t let myself go shopping very often, because I don’t have much money and I worry about being in debt (do you ever get the feeling from my blog that if it’s possible to worry about something, I will do so? Lol), but I really needed a break before my head exploded! Luckily shopping really cheered me up – the weather was lovely and I found lots of nice shiny things to take my mind off of physics! Now I just can’t resist sharing 😉

1. Food loot! I did of course buy savoury things as well, but they are boring and I always think that blogs are quite dessert-deficient 😛 so here we have (all dairy and gluten free): chocolate muffins, millionnaire’s shortbread, Lindt chocolate (my current favourite), another type of chocolate in case I get bored of Lindt, Alpro soya vanilla desserts (which I will melt chocolate into, because the chocolate flavoured ones are not chocolatey enough!), chocolate covered coconut bar, ginger biscuits dipped in chocolate and shortbread biscuits with, you guessed it, chocolate chips. I wrote chocolate nine times in that sentence. Anyone get the impression that I like chocolate?! This lot is now in a drawer by my bed. I keep them there because I am astounded that desserts can live in my bedroom without me a) freaking out and throwing them all away or b) eating them all at once. I have something from my drawer after lunch and dinner, and occasionally a biscuit in the evening if I’m hungry. Other than that, they sit in my drawer in my room and I periodically marvel at the wonders of recovery.

2. Miscellaneous loot: a green top, next month’s Vegetarian magazine, Life, The Universe and Everything by Douglas Adams (I have the other four but have been missing that one for years, then I found it in a discount bookshop earlier!), and LOTS of lovely beads from my favourite bead shop. I bought new strings of tiger’s eye and heart shaped goldstone because I love working with them 🙂

3. The new shirt I bought with a Marks and Spencer giftcard from Christmas. I think it’s really pretty!

4. I would never have even thought of buying this bracelet if I hadn’t had the giftcard – yay for Christmas presents! I love it, it’s great for a fidgeter like me 😛

5. When I got home I found a parcel! Inside the envelope was this pretty box – how exciting 😀

6. FUDGE!!! And not just ANY fudge, vegan chocolate banana fudge from Katie of Green Bean Studio! This is in honour of me getting to my target weight 🙂 thank you Katie! It’s SO good, I don’t think it’s even going to last 24 hours…

I am so glad that I gave myself this day off, I think I am going to have to do the same thing every Friday to stop myself getting too frustrated. I won’t be able to shop every Friday because I’ll run out of money 😉 but I can window shop!


7 responses to “Loot!

  1. I love Lindt chocolate! I just ate a huge piece of it actually in hopes that it might magically cure my migraine but uh, no such luck. I think giving yourself a day off is a really, really good idea. I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed with work and could use some down time. I also love Douglas Adams! And the bracelet, it’s really pretty.

    I’m so glad to see that you’re managing to stay so positive and not letting all the stress of school and everything else get to you. I like to blame my brain failures on PMS but that might just be wishful thinking…

  2. Oh yes, perpetual PMS. That’s how I feel. And I also feel like a stereotype. I’m totally useless with PMS!
    I love all the stuff you got. What great treats! That shirt is really, really cute!

  3. Jessica Zara

    You love Douglas Adams too! I would have expected nothing less of you, of course 😉 HGTTG is still my favourite…but how can anyone hope to better perfection. I couldn’t stand that terrible film version of it though *rolls eyes*.

    You’re not alone in the PMS feelings by any means – pre-all my hormonal issues/operation I had the worst co-ordination ever during that time. I would bang into pointy table edges with alarming regularity. Hormones are such powerful little buggers that it’s entirely possible they’re to blame for the studying woes ~ look at how many pre-menopausal women feel as though they’re undergoing a personality change and struggle to think clearly (not applying that particular diagnosis to you but it’s just another facet of the influence of them) Your brains haven’t turned to mush, honest! Also, remember that you’re operating on a higher intellectual level than 99% of other people with the stuff (such a technical term) that you’re studying. If a little of it seems daunting, then just think of the fact that virtually anyone else looking at it wouldn’t even understand the question.

    Ooh, I understand how to make vegan fudge but I wonder how the banana element comes in…banana essence, dried banana, fresh banana mashed? You’ve intrigued me now. And the shirt is gorgeous ~ it’ll really suit you.

    You more than deserve a day off from all of that studying and I think making it a weekly occurence is a fantastic idea: just another element of taking great care of yourself 🙂

    Have a lovely weekend


  4. Woot for retail therapy, love it! Looks like you made some great finds!

  5. Stef @ moretolifethanlettuce

    love the new outfits! um, your physics talk went straight over my head. i’m a bio geek but physics is beyond my realm of comprehension! i’m planning to take the “physics for future presidents” class at my school, it’s physics but toned down to focus on fun concepts and stays away from the math-y parts. sounds more up my alley! sorry you’ve been stressed but i know you’ll do great!

  6. I love the clothes you bought – I want that green top! Also didn’t know Katie G was a fudge maker too (along with her many talents!), also loving the bracelet too.

    Ditto with the PMS…it really does mess around with your cognitive abilities…I know it does with mine anyway…but good on you for not letting it get you down and giving yourself a break to go shopping 🙂

    Sarah x

  7. Argh, physics would bring out PMS in just about anyone…maybe just me, actually. I’m tragically impatient with math and science!

    That fudge looks scrumptious!

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