Completely pointless post

I have had no more than 200ml of the red wine which my mum left at my house and I’m giggling like a crazy lady. What the hell, body. Such a lightweight.

I had lots of fun with my mum and sister this weekend! It was brilliant, I miss them now. I have my sister’s old DSLR camera but am a little confused about how to transfer photos from the memory card to my computer, so the photos will have to wait until I work it out 😉

I felt all homesick yesterday so I decided to spend the day with my Jonathan, but after a long walk he was exhausted and grumpy, so I went home. Just as well, because his exhaustion turned out to be the beginnings of a stomach bug, so he spent most of last night throwing up! I feel okay at the moment but I’m terrified of the prospect of catching it. Poor boy does seem to throw up at the drop of a hat but that doesn’t mean that this isn’t a genuine bug…erk. Send me happy immune system thoughts please! My emetophobia is in full swing – I had to get most of my dinner in through liquid calories. Grrrrr.

So far I have spent the last 24 hours ranting and doing college work. The ranting was due to an article in the Guardian about anorexia, in which one commenter suggested sending patients to boot camps (yes, because all that strenuous activity would be SO good for them), and a research study in Carrie’s weekly round up of ED articles which totally misinterpreted non-fat phobic anorexia. The way in which non-fat phobic anorexics are different to “typical” anorexics is that in the non-fat phobic subtype, anorexic behaviours are not driven by the belief that the person is or will become overweight – their fear of weight gain is driven by other concerns, such as the inability to cope with anxiety or trauma. It DOES NOT MEAN that non-fat phobic anorexics are not scared of gaining weight, which is what this study suggested. What the study described was a group of sub-clinical ED patients who were not as scared of gaining as typical ED patients. I was deathly afraid of eating more and gaining weight when I was ill – I would have rather died than gained weight at several points in my illness – I just didn’t interpret that fear as a fear of becoming overweight. For me it was a fear of losing control of my emotions.

The college work was less stressful. I have now finished ALL the assignments for my current counselling course. I just need to make sure I have covered all the criteria we have to hit in our portfolios and I am done. I can’t wait to get started on the foundation degree! Of course, I have to actually get through the interview first…I have two now, both in the last week of June. My voluntary work with Barnardos also finishes this week, so I think it is time to start looking for a part time job again. I will be taking myself off to the Jobcentre next week…hopefully I will be slightly more employable now I have recent references!

I have an entire room full of junk to sort out tomorrow. When my mum came to visit she brought all the stuff I left at home when I moved last July, so now I have to find homes for all of those books and clothes. I think the local charity shops are going to find themselves significantly better stocked in the next few days!

Finally, the new blog is ALMOST finished. I have edited all my posts, cleaned and spell checked them, password protected the ones with photos of myself, and taken out the dead links. I just have to mess with the theme/appearance and write my new post-weight restoration recovery section. Whoop 🙂

This is a really bitty and incoherent post. Blame the glass of red wine. I can’t believe one glass could have such a big effect!

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4 responses to “Completely pointless post

  1. Sending happy thoughts to your immune system straight away!!!!!

    Well done on your assignments – must be a good feeling 🙂

    x x x

    (PS. My last post was far more stilted and incoherent and I don’t have wine as an excuse!)

  2. Not again! Poor old Jonathan. I’m sure you’ll be okay though, but I’ll send healing thoughts anyway.

    Nice one with the assignments and hooray for productivity 🙂

    xxx

  3. I’m sending good immune system thoughts to you AND Jonathan.

    ergh, that article would bristle me too! You’re spot on with everything you said; I’m not afraid of becoming overweight but I’m still terrified of gaining weight. The two aren’t the same thing. Gaining weight translates into something different for me.
    EDs are so complex that I doubt anyone will fully understand them but I still do get fairly annoyed at how much misleading information there is. Hopefully we’re getting closer and closer to more correct education tools though.

    xx

  4. I’m definitely sending good thoughts to your immune system!! Sometimes I think that the fear of being sick is worse than actually being sick, but quite frankly, I’d rather not verify that. 😉

    You are the polar opposite of me in terms of productivity — want to do my schoolwork, too?! :p

    ❤ ❤

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