I feel frustrated. Not just emotionally; it feels as if I’m stuck in quicksand, and my body is instinctively and furiously struggling to escape, making me sink faster in the process. I keep starting things – movements, thoughts, sentences – and jolting to a stop again, coming to a standstill and staring off into space. This isn’t peaceful reflection or even indecision, it’s more like my brain is attempting to do several opposing things at once, with the result that I go nowhere, but feel like I’m expending a huge amount of mental energy in doing so.
It took me two hours to write that paragraph. Fucks sake.